Costa Rica: INCOMING TURDS FROM ABOVE! 🐒💩 | Howler Monkeys, Sloths & Pura Vida

It’s early morning in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. The sun is barely coming up. And somewhere in the trees outside my Airbnb…

SOMETHING IS SCREAMING!

Not a bird. Not a dog. Something that sounds like a demon trapped in the jungle, screaming through a broken megaphone!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

It sounded like something straight out of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT!

Except this wasn’t the Blair Witch Project.

This was…

THE NORTHAMERICANDARRELL PROJECT!

One slightly questionable Canadian-American wandering into the jungle before breakfast!

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Welcome back, everybody! This is Episode 58 of the NorthAmericanDarrell Podcast!

We’re continuing our adventure through Central and South America!

Last episode, we were bouncing around Guatemala on those legendary chicken buses! Old school buses, crazy driving, and another unforgettable adventure!

I originally reached Guatemala using my Volaris All You Can Fly Pass, paying only taxes and fees. And when it was time to move on, that same pass got me to Costa Rica!

I’ve talked about these passes before, so I won’t bore you with all those glorious details again!

Check out Episode 17 — All You Can Fly Passes!

Now, Costa Rica!

I’ve visited three times. Once in Tamarindo and twice in Jaco.

Both are beautiful Pacific coast towns, but with very different personalities.

Tamarindo is livelier, with restaurants, nightlife, and a party atmosphere. I stayed in a fantastic Airbnb with a patio and hammock.

Jaco was more my style. Slower, easy to explore, and surrounded by incredible scenery.

And one thing you notice immediately?

THE SURFERS!

People come from around the world for the waves. Surfboards everywhere. People heading toward the beach, and others returning after spending hours getting beaten up by the Pacific Ocean!

Some people come to surf. Some come for the beaches.

Others, like me, come to see what everyday life is like in a new community.

Getting to Jaco was easy!

I took the local bus from San Jose, roughly a two-hour ride.

And the best part?

The bus dropped me off about a THREE-MINUTE WALK from my hostel!

LA HACIENDA!

I stayed there twice, paying around thirty-five American dollars a night for my own private studio room…

INCLUDING BREAKFAST!

Now THAT’S a pretty good travel deal!

I could relax by the swimming pool and catch an Edmonton Oilers game!

LFG OILERS!

The game playing on the BIG SCREEN overlooking the pool…

With TWO-DOLLAR BEERS!

NOW THAT’S MY KIND OF AFTERNOON!

The beach, restaurants, and local transportation were all nearby. Once I knew where everything was, it was easy to settle into a routine without spending a fortune.

And the food?

Ridiculous Burgers served me one of the best hamburgers I’ve ever eaten!

Puddlefish Brewery had amazing wings and coconut-flavored beer!

Both were so good I returned on another visit!

Another reason I loved Jaco was exploring the surrounding area.

Especially Manuel Antonio National Park!

A local bus trip south, through Quepos, takes you toward one of Costa Rica’s most beautiful wildlife destinations.

Tropical rainforest. Walking trails. Beautiful beaches.

And animals everywhere!

But first, let’s talk about the REAL LOCALS!

THE MONKEYS!

I’ve encountered these little assholes in Thailand, the Philippines, Indonesia, and Costa Rica.

After years of international research, I’ve reached one very scientific conclusion.

MONKEYS ARE ASSHOLES!

In Thailand, one stole an entire bag of peanuts right out of my hand!

THE WHOLE BAG!

Didn’t even offer to share!

Then there was Ubud, Bali.

I spent a few hours at the famous Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary. Beautiful place, incredible animals, and they’ve got rules posted everywhere.

Don’t look the monkeys in the eyes.

Don’t bother them while they’re eating.

My interpretation was…

MONKEYS CAN BE ASSHOLES!

Apparently, I wasn’t good at following the rules!

NO SHIT!

One of those little bastards came at me with MONKEY NINJA MOVES!

Well… Kinda!

But that’s another episode, because Bali was absolutely UNFORGETTABLE!

And I’ve got plenty more stories from that island.

Now, back to Tamarindo.

Every morning, howler monkeys screamed from the trees near my Airbnb.

Those weren’t cute little monkey noises.

They sounded SCARY AS HELL!

Instead of staying in bed like a normal person, I went looking for them in the nearby park.

There I was, following those terrifying sounds, unsure I wanted to find them.

And eventually…

I FOUND THEM!

High above me in the trees!

They made noises you’d never imagine coming from animals that size!

The first time you hear a howler monkey, it feels like something terrible is happening in the jungle.

But there they were, right above me!

I’m standing underneath, looking up, trying to figure out which one is making the racket.

And they’re probably thinking…

WHO THE HELL INVITED THIS GUY?!

Here’s what nobody told me until AFTER my jungle expedition.

Apparently, monkeys can throw their own TURDS at you if you get too close!

WAIT… WHAT?!

I’m standing underneath screaming monkeys, looking straight up…

Apparently, in the middle of a live-fire exercise!

INCOMING TURDS FROM ABOVE!!!

Forget the Blair Witch Project!

This was THE NORTHAMERICANDARRELL PROJECT!

TURDS FROM ABOVE!

And somehow, I survived to tell the story!

But Costa Rica has more wildlife than these airborne criminals!

Back at Manuel Antonio National Park near Quepos, I’ve visited a couple of times.

Imagine walking through a tropical rainforest surrounded by enormous trees and wildlife, with incredible Pacific beaches waiting at the end of the trails!

Monkeys run around like they own the place.

Which, honestly…

THEY PROBABLY DO!

But there’s another animal everybody hopes to see.

THE SLOTH!

Unlike those little asshole monkeys, sloths aren’t looking for attention.

Finding one can be surprisingly difficult, even when you know they’re somewhere above you.

They sit high in the trees, barely moving, blending into branches and leaves.

You could walk underneath one and never know it was there!

A knowledgeable guide and a good eye can really help.

You’re looking for a furry shape that might barely move while you stand there staring into a tree!

Now here’s something fascinating.

Three-toed sloths typically come down from the trees about ONCE A WEEK…

TO TAKE A SHIT!

ONCE A WEEK?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Meanwhile, the monkeys are busy stealing food and potentially launching biological weapons!

The sloth is hanging upside down, waiting for his weekly bathroom appointment!

Now THAT’S an animal that understands early retirement!

No alarm clock. No commute. No performance reviews.

And apparently…

VERY LITTLE BATHROOM TRAFFIC!

But seriously, seeing wildlife in its natural environment is incredible.

You’re not looking at animals behind fences.

You’re walking through their world, with rainforest on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other.

You’re walking through THEIR world.

And after Tamarindo, Jaco, and Manuel Antonio, I understood something you hear constantly in Costa Rica.

PURA VIDA!

It literally translates to PURE LIFE!

But it’s a greeting, an expression of happiness, and a relaxed attitude toward life.

You’ll see it on signs, hear locals saying it to each other, and before long you’ll probably be saying it yourself!

A reminder to slow down and appreciate what’s around you.

Surfers chasing waves. Families enjoying beaches. Sloths doing absolutely nothing.

And one questionable Canadian-American chasing screaming monkeys through the jungle!

Everybody has their own version of Pura Vida!

Speaking of monkeys stealing things…

Remember Episode 42, Avoid the Tourist Tax?

It was inspired by a photograph of me holding thousands of Costa Rican colones!

Suddenly, I looked like I was carrying a fortune!

AM I RICH?

Or am I about to accidentally spend a hundred dollars on lunch?!

I try to understand what five, ten, and twenty American dollars are worth wherever I travel.

Learn local prices, use public transportation, and avoid that tourist tax!

Costa Rica isn’t the cheapest destination in Central America, but affordable rooms, local buses, and a little common sense go a long way.

It’s not simply about converting everything back to American dollars.

It’s about understanding what things actually cost where you’re standing.

I enjoyed it enough to keep coming back.

But eventually, another flight was calling.

And this time, I was heading further south.

LIMA, PERU!

The furthest south my Volaris adventures could take me!

I’d already been to Lima, and one neighborhood deserved another look.

MIRAFLORES!

We’re leaving Costa Rica’s rainforest for dramatic oceanfront cliffs overlooking the Pacific!

Walking paths, restaurants, parks, and a different kind of coastal lifestyle!

But what does it cost to stay there?

How walkable is it?

Could Miraflores be a great place to spend more time in early retirement?

We’ll get into ALL THE GLORIOUS DETAILS in Episode 59!

The grand finale of our Guatemala, Costa Rica, and Peru trilogy!

Guatemala gave me chicken buses.

Costa Rica gave me monkeys, sloths, and the possibility of airborne turds!

What could Peru possibly have waiting for me?

There’s only one way to find out!

Until then, keep your backpack zipped, your snacks hidden…

And whatever you do…

DON’T LOOK UP WHEN THE MONKEYS START SCREAMING!

This is NorthAmericanDarrell!

SEE YOU IN LIMA!

NorthAmericanDarrell.com!