Imagine flying from the West Coast to Hawaii for around USD 100, I have done it three times.

I also got a Hawaiian Airlines Mastercard that would give me four $5.60 trips (17,500 points) after my first purchase. PRO TIP: Use points to get there, and buy the trip home; returning is often 30,000 points.

I would also meet some awesome friends who ended up making it an amazing local experience. We would go deep-sea fishing and catch my dream marlin, which was over 350 pounds. The captain invited us to their home to smoke the marli, which was an incredible experience. The best way I can describe it is fish jerky with the same texture as beef jerky and a hint of spicy marinade. We would fish three times during my first two-month stay and return twice more to fish after that. I will write a separate post on the fishing trips and plan to return every fall as long as they take me. Tom is also available, so let me know if you would like to meet him to plan an incredible trip for as low as USD 100 per person, quad occupancy.

I was working four days a week, so I had three days off. I would walk to the gym on most days, shower there, and spend my day around downtown Kona trolley which is a free shuttle around town.

This would introduce me to Kona, and I have now been there four times. Once at Auschwitz Airbnb (description below), once at another Airbnb where an earthquake woke me up, and twice at the Kona Beach hostel run by a Ukrainian lady who would always upgrade me for free. This is now my go-to when visiting to fish! Let me know if you would like an introduction – Thanks, Victoria!

Back in late 2022 and early 2023, I worked remotely in Hawaii for four months which was awesome. It was a little stressful as there was a three-hour time difference between Hawaii and Phoenix and my company had no clue I was in Hawaii.

I spend the first two months in Kona staying at a concentration camp Airbnb. Seriously, I have never experienced such a strict stay in my life, but I was stuck so made the most of it as long as I could.

This is not an exaggeration; the couple hated each other, and it showed every day. Here are the 25 rules that could change at any given moment depending on their moods.

House manual 😈👿
No smoking
Not suitable for pets
No showering before 6 am or after 9 pm
No parties or events
Children (0-12 years) are considered on a case-by-case basis
Check-in is after 3 PM
No sports equipment allowed in the house (you couldn’t store your bike, surfboard, or fishing gear)
We have indoor cats – please do not let them outdoors. They may go into our guest rooms if you leave the door to your room open. The cats stunk the house up as the carpet was probably 20 years old.

Terms of the Agreement:
We maintain a pest-free home. We can perform an inspection of your room with you when you arrive or shortly thereafter to confirm the condition of the room and indoor environs. If you discover insect pests in your room, specifically bedbugs, at any point in your stay, it will be your responsibility to pay for extermination and the replacement of any items damaged due to the infestation and extermination activities. Thank you for assuring us that your luggage and other belongings are pest-free when you bring them into our home.

1. 1. Tropical Ohana Hale is a small, quiet adult retreat property. We welcome families with children 18 years and older. Younger children will be considered on a case-by-case basis.

1. 1. Tropical Ohana Hale has the right to inspect the room you occupy without prior notice at any time to enforce the terms of this agreement. Should you violate any of the terms of this agreement, the rental period will be terminated immediately. Guest(s) waive all rights to due process if they fail to vacate the premises upon termination of the rental period. Guest (s) shall vacate the premises at the expiration date and time of the reservation.

1. 1. You agree to maintain the premises as you received them when you began your stay in a tidy, clean, free of strong perfume or other odors, and ready-to-rent condition. You agree to use the premises carefully and lawfully. You will leave the premises in an undamaged condition, defined by Tropical Ohana Hale as being immediately habitable by the next guest(s) except for a bed & bath linen change and trash can content disposal. Guest(s) shall pay for maintenance and repairs should the premises be left in a lesser condition. You agree that Tropical Ohana Hale shall deduct costs of maintenance and/or repair services before refunding the security deposit if guest(s) cause damage to the premises or its furnishings.

1. 1. You agree to pay for any damage done to the premises over and above normal wear and tear.

1. 1. No animals or pets of any kind will be brought on the premises.

1. 1. You will have no more than 2 (two) persons in each room. An exception may be made for infants on a case-by-case basis. Only persons identified in this agreement are included in your party.

1. 1. You agree to act in a civilized manner and be a good neighbor, respecting the rights of the surrounding guests and residents. You agree not to create noise or disturbances that disturb or annoy the surrounding guests and residents. Creating a disturbance of the above nature shall be grounds for immediate termination of this agreement, and the guest (s) shall then immediately vacate the premises. Quiet Hours are from 10 PM -7 AM. Common areas, except the shared bath and accessing the filtered water faucet in the kitchen, are not available for use by guests during Quiet Hours. Use a headset to watch movies and play video games, and avoid telephone conversations during this time.

1. 1. There is no smoking, or burning of incense or candles, inside the premises, or on the property.

1. 1. Tropical Ohana Hale shall provide bath and beach towels, bed linens, shampoo, and conditioner. Other personal hygiene amenities may be available. Please ask for anything you might need.

1. 1. Your party shall hereby indemnify and hold harmless Tropical Ohana Hale against any claims of personal injury or property damage or loss arising from the use of the premises, regardless of the nature of the accident, injury, or loss. Guest(s) expressly recognize that any insurance for property damage or loss that Tropical Ohana Hale may maintain on the property does not cover the personal property of guest(s).

1. 1. Guest(s) agree to pay all reasonable costs, attorney’s fees, and expenses that shall be made or incurred by the owner enforcing this agreement.

1. 1. Guest(s) expressly acknowledge and agree that this Agreement is for transient occupancy of the Property, and that guest(s) do not intend to make the property a residence or household.

1. 1. There shall be no refunds because of weather conditions.

1. 1. There shall be no refunds due to work, family emergencies, or other commitments.

1. 1. You agree not to bring or explode fireworks and other hazardous materials in or around the property.

1. 1. You agree to use the property for legal purposes only, and other use, such as but not limited to illegal drug use, abuse of any person, harboring fugitives, etc., shall cause termination of this agreement with no refund of payments made.

1. 1. The property has one fire extinguisher in the kitchen. The fire extinguisher was fully charged at the last inspection. It is the duty of the guest(s) to inform the host(s) immediately should use of the fire extinguisher be required.

1. 1. Guest(s) are responsible for their security while on the property; lock doors and windows accordingly.

1. 1. Valuables left behind by guest(s) will be held for the guest(s), and every reasonable effort will be made to contact the guest(s) to make arrangements for their return. Guest(s) are responsible for all costs associated with returning items left behind. Any item unclaimed for 2 months or more shall become the property of Tropical Ohana Hale. Tropical Ohana Hale shall not be held liable for the condition of said items.

1. 1. High-speed wireless internet is provided as a convenience only and is not integral to the agreement. No refund of the nightly rate shall be given for outages, content, lack of content, speed, access problems, lack of knowledge of use, or personal preferences regarding internet service.

1. 1. Guest(s) will be provided with 1 (one) parking space.

1. 1. If a pet or person(s) not previously agreed upon as part of your party are found on the premises during your stay, Tropical Ohana Hale has the right to ask you to leave the premises immediately. You forfeit any remaining nights on your reservation.

1. 1. Laundry: We launder bed and bath linens on a bi-weekly basis. If you would like these washed more frequently, we will perform laundry services for you at our per-load cost. Our bed and bath linens are only to be washed in our home laundry. We can also wash personal laundry for you. The cost is $15 per load. There are laundromats in town if you prefer to wash your laundry yourself. We realize that accidents do happen from time to time. If our linens get stained, we will replace them and send you the receipt so you can cover the cost of the replacement and any operational costs we incur in doing so.

1. 1. Cooking: if you will be cooking in our kitchen, we will review the use of our equipment with you prior to use. Please let us know if you plan to cook. Rather than washing the dishes by hand, please scrape your food waste into the garage garbage can and rinse your dishes and leave them on the counter on the right side of the sink. We will run the dishes and eating utensils through the dishwasher. We use the greywater collected in the pitcher for watering our plants.

1. 1. Eating and food: Please refrain from eating in your room. Stray bits of food attract the many creatures who live in the surrounding jungle. You do not want to meet one of these creatures in the middle of the night in your room. If you have food waste, please dispose of it in the garbage can in the garage. We will show it to you.
      We are vigilant in the kitchen to eliminate food waste, and the surfaces in that environment lend themselves to that.
      Please do not remove kitchen hardware of any kind (dishes, silverware, glasses, etc.) from our home.
      Thank you

I would end up leaving a week early after ripping them a new asshole. The last straw was Adolph barging into my room, asking me why I did not clean the shower drain. I calming asked him what the maid fee was for as the house smelled like cat piss. He later apologized and kissed my ass, but I had enough and flew to Honolulu the next day. I would spend the next two months after Christmas living in Honolulu, and I wanted to check out the next Airbnb, which was a perfect situation. I would stay there two more times after this two-month adventure, but that’s another post.

That story shows you that Airbnb can also be a stressful situation, but back to my Kona experience.

I would also ride the bus around the island, visiting Hilo and other small towns. The local trolley is one of the best free features as it goes from end to end of Kona, making stops at all of my soon-to-be-favorites:

Kona Brewery – we all have tasted it, but I was getting it right from the tit! (top right awesomeness)

O’la Seltzer Brewery – they used all of the island flavors to create seltzer magic!

Willie’s Hot Chicken – the absolute best chicken fingers and live music on the island.

Two-Step diving – Just like the name, there are two steps into the water, and you’re in snorkeling paradise.

Foodland poke bar – I would get the absolute best poke lunch and dinner for under USD 10. (bottom left)

Quinn’s almost by the sea – This was where I found the absolute best one, the absolute best tasting fish. (top middle)

Harbor House restaurant – this is where in the marina where we would often go after fishing.

The absolute best part is the fishing with Captain Tom and first mate Sue who have their own post for making my fishing dreams come true. I landed an over 338-pound marlin along with ono, mahi mahi and even a shark.