… just a back rubā¦
They say monkeys are basically people.
Case closed.
Please donāt make me explain this again
š«£.
I spent a fun few hours wandering around the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary in Ubud, which was equal parts entertaining and mildly threatening.
Iāve had the chance to see different species of monkeys in Thailand. The Philippines and Costa Rica, as well, and I can confidently say this is a global truth:
Theyāre all kind of assholes.
The rules are posted everywhere posted in the park:
1. Donāt bother them while theyāre eating.
2. Donāt look them in the eye.
What they donāt explain is what happens if you do both.
Spoiler alert:
They absolutely explain it to you themselves.
Still, itās an incredible experienceājust keep your snacks hidden, your sunglasses tight, and your confidence low.Ā
Click play – Exhibit EH
The monkeys run that park, and they know it. 
The cool part is how organized it all is. The staff actually knows the different monkey groupsātheir neighborhoods, their territories, and which troop belongs where inside the park.Ā
Itās not chaos; itās a full-on monkey city with zoning laws and unwritten rules.
Watching them interact, Iām pretty sure these monkeys use gang signals, have beef with rival crews, and settle disputes with intense staring contests.
And honestly?
I wouldnāt be shocked if they listen to Snoop Dogg, too.
Same confidence.
Same āthis is my blockā energy.
Zero respect for personal space.
Youāre just a visitor in their neighborhoodāand they make sure you never forget it.Ā
For additional clarification, please refer back to Exhibit EH.Ā
Hereās a little throwback to some other fun with monkeys in Costa Rica.
Part of The NorthAmerican Darrell Projectāand easily one of the most unsettling wildlife experiences Iāve ever had.
If youāve never heard a howler monkey before, imagine:
a demon
trapped in a jungle
screaming through a broken megaphone
I woke up convinced something terrible was happening outside, so I went for a pre-dawn walk. Turns out it was just monkeysā¦ aggressively announcing their presence to the entire rainforest.
Spooky.
Loud.
Unforgettable
Manuel Antonio National Park ā Quepos, Costa Rica
Iāve visitedĀ Manuel Antonio National Park in Quepos,Ā Costa Rica, a couple of times.
Manuel Antonio is beautiful. Jungle trails, beaches, sloths, monkeys everywhere. What they donāt emphasize enough is that the animals there are professional thieves.
No food out.
Backpack zipped.
Situational awareness is high.
Thatās when I realized Manuel Antonio isnāt a parkāyouāre just walking through their neighborhood. The monkeys arenāt cute mascots; they are just trying to steal the show from the sloths we came to see. Theyāre organized, confident, and clearly working in teams. One distracts, one steals, one watches for tourists making bad decisions like watching them eat or looking them in the eye
Just another fun Costa Rica lesson learned:
You are not the main character in Manuel Antonio.Ā