You don’t realize how much your mother anchors your world until she’s gone.
After that, everything changes. The world keeps moving, but it never feels quite the same without her in it.
There are so many memories and moments of relentless loss. There are also so many things that I wish that I could say so many things just one more time.
I just thought she would live a lot longer!
So naive as she was 84.
That analogy couldn’t have been more correct when it comes to me. Since losing my mom, everything has changed, and life has never been the same.
I used to ask her “Are you bragging or complaining”?
I am complaining Mom!
Towards the end, my Mom had a way of being memorable to people she met.
Good and bad as she did tell a fair share of people to kiss her ass.
She also found a way to be just a wee bit annoying. 😇
Awesome, arrogance, and annoying – we really do take after our Mom! 😁
So many memories I could share!
After I left Canada; I wanted a tattoo of a Canadian Leaf. She never wanted to be left out so she got a tattoo of a butterfly on her ankle for a daughter she lost in a fire.
Darlene had a butterfly tattoo.
I eventually covered up my shitty leaf tattoo and Mom got a second butterfly tattoo on her BIG TOE. She lost her toenail and always hated it so she got a tattoo there! 😂
“Live life to the fullest” was her saying!
My Mom did not have an easy life. She endured more loss and heartbreak than any one person should ever have to face.
She lost a husband/my Dad (suicide), a daughter (mentioned above) and grandson (fire), a son (car accident). She also lost her closest grandson Ryan to another car accident. I say favorite as Mom always stuck for Ryan when no one else would. I was old enough to see the pain of her losing Ryan and it hurt her so badly.
I just remember her saying graveside: “Its not fair, it’s just not fair” 😭
I often wonder how she found the strength to keep going.
I always told myself that someday I would try to make it up to her after she put me through Collage. I was probably the only twenty something year old that had a packed lunch everyday! 😂
I wish I knew how lucky I was to have her here in AZ all those years.
(Just knowing she was three hours away in Yuma meant the world).
When Mom was close to retirement, she used all of her accumulated sick leave to come visit me while I was working in California. Little did I know that first visit would turn her into quite the traveler.
She once took a five-day bus trip from Edmonton to Atlanta to visit me.
She visited several other cities where I worked, including throughout Southern California, Las Vegas, Nashville, Myrtle Beach, Acapulco, and Mexico City.
She loved to explore and spend my money while on expenses! 😇
She made 16 trips from Edmonton to Yuma as a snowbird, The above picture I posted was her last year. I wish I knew that when I posted it.
Every year I would ask, “Do you want to take the bus or fly to Yuma?” She would always reply, “Take the bus… but if there’s a cheap flight.”
I knew exactly what that meant: book the flight and don’t forget to request a wheelchair.
She didn’t really need a wheelchair, but it escorted to her next gate and helped with her luggage to get to me waiting. I always asked if she pushed the wheelchair.
So many more stories I can tell …
When I moved to the United States, I dated a flight attendant who was able to get my Mom on flights for next to nothing. I still laugh when I think about her getting upgraded to First Class and acting like such a big shot.
She was convinced everyone sitting up there was famous. She would ask for first class everytime going forward.
I could tell stories about her for days—and someday I probably will.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. The hardest time of year is late Spring. The six-week stretch right now between Mother’s Day, her birthday on June 2nd, and the anniversary of her passing on July 1st.
I was the MC at my niece Amber’s wedding. Since they considered a destination wedding in Mexico, I had one request: anyone who came up to speak had to wear a sombrero.
Most people wore it because they had to.
My Mom wore it like felt like she’d finally achieved her lifelong dream. Becoming Mayor of Algodones, Mexico where she visited weekly while in Yuma.
Hug your Mom, even if she sometimes drives you bat shit crazy!